Michaela Kyrionymou: BREAKING NEWS: Kate Middleton has breasts!

IT WAS CLARIFIED a few days ago that yes, Kate Middleton, or the Duchess of Cambridge as we should now be calling her, does in fact have boobs like the rest of womankind. Topless images of Kate first materialised in a French magazine, and have now spread thanks to the magic of the internet. The grainy pictures were taken with a long lens camera whilst the royal couple was staying in Provence.

This occurred just weeks after photos emerged of Prince Harry naked on the lash in Las Vegas. This episode seemed to die quite quickly. Were we just expecting it from this royal? Did previous incidents from this ‘notorious lad’ mean that we were just not bothered by his escapades anymore? Kate’s photos seem different; everything is being done to stop their distribution. But what’s the point? We’ve all googled it, and seen those golden stars by now anyway. Why waste more taxpayers’ money on lawyers? In this economy, save the money. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

These photos clearly represent a significant security problem. Only a few weeks earlier Prince Harry had photos leaked of him “hugging” girls naked and now the same is happening to another royal. Thousands of pounds worth of our money is devoted to security for these royals and I’m failing to see how money is being spent successfully. Why are they continuing to let this happen? Who are we to see next? Charles? Camilla? The Queen?! They should have been there to protect them from all troubles.

I can understand why many are arguing that this is clear breach of privacy. A lawyer representing the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge pressed a French court to have a ban placed on the re-publication or resale of the photos as they were from a “highly intimate moment.” A moment of William rubbing cream into Kate’s bum!

Married to a royal, the Duchess will always be in the public eye. We watched the Royal Wedding and the Jubilee diligently – surely also private moments of the family. I’m not justifying the photos, merely indicating that other moments of intimacy which we have been invited, nay, forced to watch over the last 18 months were given freely. Classifying them as “intimate” doesn’t justify their sanction. When you start to share some moments we expect it all. If these pictures were taken of her inside the house, I may have more sympathy for her. On a balcony in clear sight for anyone, I have little to feel sorry for; it was a picture waiting to happen. Maybe she should go back to University and take Paparazzi Tactics 101.

We all have photos taken of us that inevitibly end up on Facebook. Half-dressed drunk ones that could possibly ruin any future career prospects, but we think nothing of it. These photos are now owned by Facebook, and are in the public domain. Our ‘intimate moments’ of that night out are laid out for all to see. Then we are all shocked when a Royal acts human and we see it.

I’m not sure what these photos have really accomplished. Sure, manufactured scandals sell magazines. So they have sold magazines and proven the Royal Family have boobs like us peasants, but what else have they done? They haven’t created world peace or fed the starving masses. So why are we so interested in them? Topless woman occur in many places, it’s just another naked lady. So let’s all drop it, and patiently await Pippa’s holiday photos.